STRATEGIC COMMUNICATION

Navigating narcissistic dynamics: pause before you respond.

By Michelle Hubbs · The Strategic Response

Decide what the message needs from you.

When a conversation includes blame, provocation, or competing demands, an immediate response can pull you away from your purpose. Pause long enough to identify the practical issue you need to address.

Answer the issue you can act on.

Separate a concrete question from commentary about your motives or character. A scheduling request may need a date and a time. It may not need a defense of every accusation in the same message.

Give your response one clear purpose.

Before replying, ask: Am I confirming, requesting, clarifying, or declining? Let that purpose guide your wording. For example: “I can discuss the proposed schedule by email. Please send the dates you are requesting.”

Review for clarity.

Read your reply as if you were receiving it for the first time. Is the next step clear? Can you remove speculation, personal labels, or unnecessary explanation? A deliberate response can express your position without trying to settle every disagreement.

Keep perspective.

A communication strategy cannot make another person cooperate. These ideas concern your own wording and choices; they are not a diagnosis of the other person or a guarantee of a particular outcome.

General communication education only. Not legal advice, a clinical assessment, or individualized professional guidance.